Being Vulnerable

I am a generally introverted person. I spend my Friday nights in bed with a movie, my Saturday afternoons at a small workplace without much interaction, and I really only interact with many people on Saturday mornings at Mass. It’s something that I’ve always tried to work my way around, but I use my relationships at my parish and my community to help me find someplace to allow me to open up in the small ways I know how.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Mass with my senior class before the culmination of our final high school Spirit Week. As I was walking into the chapel, my mind wandered with thoughts of the cupcakes and dance parties that awaited me after the liturgy was over. However, as I passed by the front of the church, my body instantaneously stopped and bowed before the tabernacle. It took me a second to even realize what I had done.

I’ve always been taught, as we all have been, that we bow to Jesus when the Eucharist is exposed. But what does exposed mean? Yes, it involves being left out in the open. However, according to dictionary.com, the word exposed means “susceptible to attack; vulnerable.” When the Eucharist is exposed, He is made vulnerable.

Like I said at the beginning, I’m a pretty shy person. I guess, in a lot of ways, I’m afraid of being vulnerable to attack- hateful words, harmful actions, ungodly ways. This is something that I fear I will always struggle with. However, that day, Jesus showed me how His choice to be made vulnerable makes life so much better for all of us. He gives up His defenses so that we can see Him and love Him. He desires nothing but for us to be close to Him. In Adoration, Jesus makes Himself susceptible to all of us so that we can experience Him in an intimate way.

Now, this information rocked my world, but I didn’t automatically become an extroverted rock star who bares her soul to everyone she meets. Things didn’t change immediately, because nothing ever does. However, what this realization gave me was the chance to remind myself why I give myself to Jesus every day. He gives Himself to me every single day. I am worth it for Him to make Himself completely vulnerable. This struggle is worth it.