An Advent Wake Up Call that Hit Me By Surprise
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Have you ever been in a spiritual slump? Overcome with boredom or malaise for all things holy? It can easily happen these days when church life feels stripped down to the basics.
For several years, I was running at warp speed towards everything holy. Then COVID-19 hit. Most of my ministries dried up. My weekly Eucharistic Adoration routine got thrown off. The beloved choir music at church disappeared. Someone I was getting spiritual help from stopped delivering it. Community felt non-existent. I started feeling exhausted each morning and couldn’t get to daily Mass. I yawned my way through rosaries. My confessions became more drawn out. I did not, however, stop praying and seeking God.
Before I knew it, pretty much everything that spoke to me about church and liturgy became quite dry. My latest confessor termed it well: It’s like being stuck.
But then he reminded me that God’s grace is still working because I showed up in the confessional one day.
That deeply spoke to me. I got to thinking that I was losing grace, that I was losing God, and that everything was shifting in my life in the wrong direction. I didn’t know how to get “unstuck.” I still don’t. I just know that I’m stuck because that word keeps coming up again and again.
He told me to go pray with a Scripture verse that comforted or uplifted me. Psalm 139 rang in my ears, and despite the many beautiful lines of that Psalm, only a single line spoke to me: I am still with you.
Yes, I’m still with You, Lord. Maybe that’s all You are asking of me right now. To stay with You.
Katie Zalany lives in Cleveland Ohio. She is a Third Order Secular Franciscan (OFS), spiritual director, benefits/wellness leader, certified health and life coach, and volunteer. She is the creator of the ministry Women in Waiting | Made for Fruitfulness and is a published author. Her writing interests and focus areas include Gospel reflections, Franciscan spirituality, women's spirituality, prayer, and integration of faith and daily living.
