What or why does RESTLESSNESS come into our life. Right now, many are experiencing 'restlessness' and antsy behaviors. Cabin fever some would say from being 'safe at home.' Whatever the reason, we may be feeling strongly: "I am about to explode!!"
You may not realize this, but that is the Holy Spirit at work. Our comfortable NEST has to roughed up to bring out some inner impurities, unresolved issues, or behaviors lying dormant but still in much control of our happiness.
Right now, I am in the process of writing a book on inner healing, "Where Healing Begins." In the process of doing this, God had to be sure that I was being given fresh material by reminding me of healings I have been blessed with in the past. And truth be told--even at my age---the peeling back and healings; keep coming.
Thus it is this morning as I write---I grow restless. I see the 'avoidance' technique slipping in. The desire to 'go do something else and 'pleasurable' rises up and I stop writing the book. But the Holy Spirit is always there to lead us on right paths --and I continue to write--led in a different direction.
A memory was slipped in a few days ago, by a question asked by my child. This led to the realization that the event needed review and a past trauma needed to be shared. That is not an easy thing to do, for most of us "do not want to go there!" There are some doors we want to keep closed.
We live in a world where TRAUMA occurs frequently; to many beloved children of God. Hopefully in sharing my story---you know what to do to handle anything that comes into your life that is HORRIFIC or even life threatening to you.
To put it bluntly--I was raped. Years ago, as a naïve 20 year old, I did not recognize the ways we MIGHT wander into the paths of danger. I met someone in a chance meeting. Foolishly I gave him my phone number, like many do today: hoping to meet someone 'special.' Oh, he was special alright.
I remember the next day, I was trying to get some much needed rest as I worked nights. He kept calling wanting to go on a date. I kept saying no, he kept calling ---so I finally agreed to go get something to eat later that evening. This ended up with a tired person falling asleep as we were coming home, and he drove to a secluded area. Any further details need not be told---but these important facts. As the his assault started, God WAS THERE! He is always there in all of our lives, but if we are not raised to walk in His ways---we will not be aware of His Presence. Neither will we know how to call on Him for help. (Think of that before you go another moment THINKING "I don't need or want God in my life.")
Back to that moment of horror. As I lay under a man holding me down---I was led to show no fear and started to say out loud---the Lord's Prayer (The Our Father) and the Hail Mary. A very puzzled man pushed off me, and said-
"Something is wrong!"
It seems, his pleasure was going "no where." a very, 'ahem,' deflated ego became confused and I grabbed the chance to run. I ran to the highway, where a pick up truck 'happened' to be coming down the road. Flagged down, a woman and man, rescued this frantic young woman. They gave praise to God that they just 'happened to be coming back' from doing the laundry at that time of night. They were at the right place, at the right time --orchestrated by God. (His angels do surround us and God does go before us.)
Now you may ask WHY wasn't God there for me when bad things happened in my life? Why did horrible things happen to me?
He was, He is---but: unless we are daily 'tuned' in to God's wave length--we may not be receiving what wisdom we need, when it is most important that we have it, for His help and protection! When we are controlled by fear---we cannot THINK, and freeze up.
Now each person has their own traumatic story. No person can answer your questions to why. Only you and God were there at the time of your very traumatic event that has left you deeply wounded. Limping along in life, you do thirst for help and answers. For you know---to live again---answers must be found and resolution must come into your life. Not to find peace and comfort, means we stay in that darkness. Truth be told, 'unresolved issues' in any person's life ---has led another to pass anger and hate, pain and confusion along, leading to someone else being traumatized.
The only wisdom I can pass down is how to (1.) Prevent, possibly any further trauma from coming into your life or that of your loved ones lives. 2.) Steps to Healing, and 3.) how to work with God to be set free of the pain that you long for. Because there is much to learn, to be shared-- this is Part 1 of a series dealing with PTS and Healing of the Heart.
