Don't Judge

We don't talk about suicide, we whisper about it. Suicide is the ultimate of sins committed against God. While no doubt taking our life, which is not our own to begin with, is an affront towards God, it is the process that leads to suicide that is not sinful. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of,” (CCC 2280).

It makes perfect sense that we are not to take our own lives. But what if the person who committed suicide was not of sound mind? The Catechism of the Catholic Church says: “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide,” (2282(b)). That makes sense too. Would anyone of sound mind even consider taking their life? No they wouldn't.

So the Catholic Church teaches us two things: 1. Our lives are not our own to decide over 2. Grave psychological distress exists and can lead to suicide. I'd like to focus this article on the latter. That is, the process that leads to suicide.

I’ve heard depression best described as follows:

“The sadness was unbearable sometimes. Her heart was broken irrevocably and shattered into dust. There was no putting it back together. Her sadness was an unyielding state of suffering in the innermost part of her soul. Simply put, it hurt to live. There were times when a glimpse of light would shine through the darkness, but sadness ultimately weighed her down draining all energy and leaving very little for her to carry out daily demands. She wasn’t convinced that depression was a disease, but it was an unforgivable reminder of pain and loss - a darkness within her that had metastasized into a malignancy that had long bludgeoned her will to live.”

It’s striking to hear someone explain what depression feels like which leads me to question: Who are we to judge what someone else is going through? How are we to know what is unspoken? Depression is a silent killer. It resides deep within and is truly ever known only by the sufferer. I can only imagine the level of distress that an individual has to be in to consider taking their own life. Someone who has never experienced that type of mental anguish is probably quick to judge, but wrongly so. Every person walks their own path and carries their own cross, and only Christ knows the true depths of our souls. So why condemn a soul that is no longer with us when 1. We do not understand it; and 2. Do not have the authority to do so?

Please do not pass judgement on those battling with the disease or those who have died from it. Please be kind to everyone because we never know who is undergoing this type of hardship or considering suicide: "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets,” (Matthew 7:12).

And To those who have lost loved ones to depression and suicide, I pray your soul is comforted in knowing that it is only Christ who can judge a loved one who has committed suicide. Only he knows the depth of our souls and only he knows what that individual was going through that led up to the loss of life: “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives,” (CCC 2283).

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away,” (Revelation 21:4).