Seventy-Seven Times

I recently found out that someone I knew as a kid has been indicted for committing an impropriety involving a minor. He and I were classmates from first through eighth grade; but in the thirty or so years since then, I’ve seen him maybe twice and neither time held a real conversation with him. So, as adults he and I functionally are strangers. Still, he was a good kid when I knew him; and in my heart I believe that even now he is a good man, though perhaps not strong enough to exorcise his demons.

This situation prompted me to reflect upon how easy it is for even the best of us to stumble, and how rarely we are prepared to take the inevitable fall—especially when the fall lands us hard. Think of all the times when a single word, a keystroke, or an exit off the highway was the only thing that stood between you and the commission of evil. In most cases, you probably chose the correct path; but there likely are other times when you chose poorly, and ended up someplace very different from where you wanted to be. I know I’ve been there more than once.

Fortunately for us God understands that we have frailties, and is patient with our imperfections. Time and again our Father in Heaven has responded with compassion when his children have done wrong, with his ultimate gesture of mercy being the sacrifice of his only begotten Son on the cross.

It is through Jesus’ example that we’ve learned how to extend God’s mercy to our fellow man. Yet, we often withhold it because we believe that justice demands that we do so. Somewhere along the line, humanity started to believe that justice and mercy are mutually exclusive; but the necessity of the one does not mitigate the need for the other. That these two human virtues are meant to work in tandem is clearly demonstrated in the book of Genesis. When Cain killed Abel, he became the first of our ancestors to commit a sin against his neighbor. God responded by condemning Cain to life as a wanderer. When considering this sentence, it is important to keep in mind that landholding, with its promise of a permanent home, was of great importance to Jews of ancient times. So, to the audience for whom Genesis was written, denying Cain a homeland would have been a severe punishment and thus a just penalty for a crime as serious as murder. Yet, God balanced justice with mercy: He placed his mark upon Cain to protect him from others doing to him as he had done to his brother.

Separation from justice is not the only problematic fallacy about mercy. Many approach the provision of mercy as though it were zero-sum gain. They believe that mercy cannot be extended to an offender without simultaneously withdrawing support for the victim. In truth, the former has no bearing on the latter, which is a lesson that Jesus taught us with the parables of The Prodigal Son and The Workers in the Vineyard.

Another common error is the failure to distinguish between forgiveness and pardon. Human forgiveness cannot change history. It neither erases evil acts that already have been committed nor stems the tide of their consequences; and it doesn’t absolve the actor of accountability. Human forgiveness cannot do any of these things because mercy is about moving forward, not looking back. The unforgiven are trapped in the moment of their wrongdoing because they have come to believe that they are no better than the sin they committed. Mercy allows these prisoners of regret to move beyond their transgression and begin to see themselves as Jesus does. Mercy also allows the one who forgives to move on and begin to see themselves as something other than a victim.

The Gospel instructs us to love our neighbor—even when that neighbor is our enemy; and showing mercy to those who have sinned against us is one of the most challenging of Christian obligations. It also is one of the most fundamental. When we deny mercy to our fellow man, we deny the Cross and Resurrection, and we leave Lazarus lying dead in his tomb. Sometimes we might feel that our neighbor is not deserving of our forgiveness; but neither are we deserving of God’s Divine Mercy. Mercy is not a wage that people are expected to earn. Rather, it is a gift that all of us are expected to offer.