When Your Son is "Father"

"Oh, Fr. X is your son, you must be so proud" I have heard that quite often in the five years since my son was ordained. I usually smile and say thank you but I am usually thinking that what I am proud of is different than what that speaker is thinking. I am proud of my son for listening to God and doing his will and persevering through two masters degree programs in half a decade of seminary. I am proud of him for giving up a lucrative career in the secular world and giving up the physical intimacy and joy of being in a family because God called him to be his servant.

What is it like to have a son who is a priest? When people ask me that question, many things come to mind. I worried about him being happy while he was in the seminary; that he would not be discouraged by the long, hard process with years of classes and formation. I pray that he does not feel isolated or overwhelmed with his many duties, most of which he does alone. I am grateful that he and his brother priests have a strong bond and that with modern technology he can text or call one of his former classmates for support. I am concerned when I hear about discrimination and hatred towards Christians anywhere in the world because men like him are the brunt of that hatred and are in danger. And yes, I am proud when I go to Sunday Mass where he is presiding, and I see attentive faces and smiles of understanding around me during the homily. I am also proud when I see his look of total concentration during Mass.

There are also some interesting perks related to being part of the sisterhood of mothers of priests. Someone pointed out to me that I am guaranteed not to have an empty church at my funeral because most of my son's friends and acquaintances are church goers who will be supportive of him. At his ordination, he gave me a box with the cloth he wiped his hands with after the bishop anointed him. He claims I am supposed to show it to St. Peter when I die and it should be a passport to heaven. (I sometimes worry that my family won't find that box when the time comes; it is in my bottom dresser drawer, guys.) Sometimes we get to benefit from some of the generosity of his parishioners. He has bought an occasional dinner from the stack of gift cards he received at Christmas or sometimes shows up at the house with a dessert that someone gave him. Then is the down side of not knowing what to get him for Christmas; we can't shop for shirts or ties for him at the local department store.

Being a parent is an amazing experience. The parent of a man who is doing what God has called him to do is even more so. I know I cannot take any credit for his vocation except for trying to help him know God and not discouraging him. Yes, I am proud of my son in many ways and I am grateful to God that he is fulfilling his calling as a priest.